EA to Merge Madden With the Marvel Universe

Written by Bryan Hackney

Friday, 27 June 2008

EA Sports perplexed the world when they announced plans for Madden 09 during a press conference early this morning. The football loving populace in the USA has been eager to get details, and see screen shots, of Madden 09. Up to this point, EA has been closed lip on details.

“We are introducing ideas in Madden 09 that some may be uncomfortable with at first,” states Jim Topper, president of EA’s experimental ideas division. “Our fans have been unhappy with the past few iterations of Madden. Some have said we are unable to make the next-gen transition. Madden 09 will change all of that.”

Here’s what we know so far, EA has added a new feature to the standard Madden formula. This new feature is known as the “mutant league.” Players will have access to the entire Marvel universe. You will be able to draft the Juggernaut as a running back or Iron Man as a wide receiver. If you are facing a troublesome team that you can’t seem to get past, equip the Phoenix and simply kill your opponents, literally.

“You haven’t experienced football until you’ve decapitated a defender with Wolverine’s retractable claws or used Storm to produce a freak snow storm during an opponent’s critical third and long,” said Topper. “Personally, I love using the Juggernaut. I can’t help it. Plowing through opponents at full speed makes me scream ‘I’m the Juggernaut bitch’ every time,” said Taylor with a chuckle.

EA has managed to take two things we love and jam them into an awkward position. Today, we were afforded some hands-on time with this new monstrosity. While I have to admit I felt like more of a badass playing this version of Madden than I have with previous versions, I also felt cheap. One example of this was using Night Crawler as a running back. It takes the challenge out of the game when you can disappear once handed the sacred pigskin and reappear in your opponent’s in zone.

EA is not resting on the laurels of their new roster as they have gone as far as creating new arenas as well. Players will be treated to the fictitious X-Men Academy arena where Patrick Stewart will reprise his role as Professor Xavier to provide play-by-play coverage of the game alongside his partner Beast, voiced once again by Kelsey Grammer.

“We have locked up the typical football fan, now we want to target none testosterone fueled men who don’t typically enjoy sports,” said Topper. “If we can get them to stop playing WOW and pick up Madden then we have hit our new demographic. Hell, if this works we might even throw in a storm trooper or two in Madden 2010. That’s not official though.”

While we have to wonder if this new direction is going to alienate the hardcore football fans that have made Madden what it is, the great golden Gods at EA seem to think this is a non-issue stating “they will play what we give them and they will like it.”

The world will be treated to the new and improved Madden 09 this fall.

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