This Editorial Blocks the Vote

Written by Chad Messer

Sunday, 10 August 2008

This Editorial Blocks the Vote This was one of those days when I was all set to do one particular editorial, and then someone comes along and changes my topic like a thunderclap. The things that this person said were so stupid, so ignorant, that an editorial demanded to be written, if only so that I can go to sleep at night. Without going into boring (and partisan) details, here’s the thesis statement:

If you are too stupid or lazy to do a little homework about political candidates, if the only national news that you get comes from a talking head pundit of either political persuasion, if you believe every meaningless thing that said talking heads tell you to read on the internet, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Ever.

Here’s how it would work in a perfect society. On Election Day(which would be a federal holiday the scope of Christmas, with only the most essential stores open for business), you would step into your polling place and be escorted to a desk. While at that desk you would take two tests. The first test would be a small current events test. It would ask simple multiple-choice questions about what is going on both in your community and your world.

The second test would be a barometer of your knowledge about the candidates whose name would be on your ballot. The questions would be absolutely nonpartisan and would be vetted by both local political parties and would cover everyone from those running for dogcatcher to those running for president. The multiple-choice questions would be about voting records, confirmed political stances, and the issues that arose during the debates. There would be no half-truths or no-truths. There would only be equal, verifiable facts.

If you fail either one of those tests, you don’t get to vote for anything during that election cycle.

You see, if every ignorant, mildly retarded Tom, Dick and Harry gets the right to vote, then you get what we had in the last seven years: any ignorant, mildly retarded Tom, Dick or Harry gets to be President.

The people who lead us should not be one of us. They should be smarter, have studied harder, and have not been the complete jackasses that the rest of us can so often be. They should care more about policy than American Idol. Instead of watching The Hills, they should be making laws. Instead of kowtowing to the lowest common denominator, they deserve to have a willful, informed electorate dictating their movements. They should be able to say “nuclear”.

Voting is one of those things that should not necessarily be an unalienable right. Everyone should be guaranteed the ability to prove their preparedness to vote. The vote itself should be a privilege that should be earned by doing your homework on the candidates and the issues. It should be a lot like driving. The vast majority of Americans possess the necessary abilities to drive a car down the road. That doesn’t mean that all of them get to do so, though. Drivers have to pass a test proving their ability to handle an automobile and the consequences that come with driving. Voting is basically the process by which we drive the course of our country. If young Petey and Pam have to earn a license to drive, they should also have to earn a license to vote. It’s that simple.

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