This Editorial Has a Messianic Complex

Written by Chad Messer

Monday, 21 July 2008

This Editorial Has a Messianic Complex This is one of those editorials where I have to say upfront that the views and opinions expressed herein do not necessarily represent the views of the rest of our merry little band of misfits. I’m on my own limb here. This screed is directly related to the recent article on this site that dealt with the reaction of some people to the book Libidacoria: In a Plain Brown Wrapper by Kristie LeVangie. You know, the one where she got hate mail from religious-right types. You really should be reading the articles all the way through, you know.

Anyway, that being said, I need to take your time today for an apology of sorts. You see, I am a Christian. I am also an artist, a writer, humorist and part-time ninja. But for purposes of this editorial, I am coming to you with my Christian hat pinned way up on top of all of the others.

You see, I want to apologize to the world at large for the way that some Christians treat others. There are quite a few of us that seem to get off on being complete douche nozzles to everyone that they meet, but we aren’t all that way. Some of us are warm and cuddly. Some of us are hopeless liberals, some of us are queer, some of us curse like drunken sailors, and some of us have no affiliation at all with organized religion or the Religious Right. Some of us want to exercise our freedom of religion without stepping on any of your freedoms.

Case in point: in order to write a (devilishly funny) article about the hate-mail that Kristie LeVangie (AKA “K”) received from a conservative nutbird, I had to listen to some podcasts chronicling the carnal knowledge of “K” and her nocturnal nookie. Then I listened to some explicitly sexual poetry. Did this make the baby Jesus cry? Hells no.

I do not have ovaries, and I don’t necessarily like ovaries, but I am not threatened by them or scared of the powerful woman who holds them. I don’t have to be weak just so that you can be strong. You don’t have to be wrong just so that I can be right. I probably cribbed that from a song somewhere, but it’s the truth as I see it.

As a Christian, I realize that my faith is mine alone, and has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s between me and the object of that faith. As a writer, I realize that there is a big wide world out there that should be explored and chronicled without fear of censorship of any kind. As a part-time ninja, I realize that there are very few problems that can’t be solved with a kick to the face.

If I expect people to respect my right to worship as I see fit, I must respect the right of everyone else to do the same, or to not worship at all. If I expect people to respect my right to speak my mind and voice my opinion, then I must respect the right of other people to have valid opinions that differ from mine, and to voice that opinion just as loudly as I did mine. If I expect people to stay out of my business, then I need to mind my own business.

The road runs both ways, though. We can’t discriminate against someone who says something we don’t like. We also cannot discriminate against what we assume the meaning is between the words someone says. In other words: Do I have the right to send out hate mail to someone that I disagree with? Yes, so long as I do not threaten them. Do I have the right to be a prick to people I don’t like? Sure, but you’ll be a prick that nobody likes. Do I have the right to read meaning into someone’s words that may not be there? Of course, but if yours is a mistaken assumption, you’re just as big a douchebag as the person you’re railing against.

See, the tricky thing about freedom is that it can be a pretty slippery thing when we want to be the only ones to hold it. The same thing can be said about tolerance. And forgiveness.

So, in closing, I want to let you know that though it seems like all Christians are insufferable, holier-than-thou, right-wing, repressed ninnies, there are at least some of us out here who have got your back no matter what your vice is. A large part of my faith is that Jesus loves me as I am, not as I’m supposed to be. I feel the same way about the world. I love this life because of its diversity and differences, not in spite of them. I love the world as it is, not as I would make it. I love my freedoms not because they apply to me, but because they apply to everyone equally. And I ask for your forgiveness on behalf of all the assholes that are too wrapped up in their small, petty selves to realize what harm they are doing to the world in the name of religion. May I forgive them as I hope to be forgiven. Barring that, there’s always a swift ninja kick to the face.

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Dave H.

|2008-07-29 22:08:58

and also being a holier-than-thou insufferable douche-nozzle isn't solely the
domain of the Christian...and just to get a little political why the hell has
the republican party absconded with my savior?

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