Tiger Woods Shocks the World

Written by Steve Vaughan

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Orlando, Florida – In a press conference held today in Florida Tiger Woods confirmed rumors about his true identity and put a cloud of controversy over all his achievements. All the amazing numbers, 14 majors won, 14-0 in major events when leading after 54 holes, 3 cuts missed TOTAL since 2004 and of course his No. 1 golf ranking could now be in jeopardy.

Today, surrounded by his wife and young daughter, his mom, caddie and current golf coach; he confirmed what everyone in the golf world has suspected since he became a golf pro in 1996. A hush fell over the room when Tiger stood up and pronounced…

"Yes, I am Iron Man".

He realized that his pride got the best of him during this year's U.S. Open and he could no longer hide the fact that he is a super hero. He said that after recovering from a "reconstructive knee" surgery (in fact he was being fitted with new ultra light state of the art medal), then playing 72 holes of golf, then another 18 playoff holes followed by 1 more in sudden death – he could no longer hide the fact that he was super human and would rather he tell the world than it come up in the tabloids.

Tiger revealed that he didn't think he had what it took to compete on the professional level and in order to match all his amateur success, he needed an edge. So he melted all his trophies won as a child and created the first suit. After the prototype showed promise he turned pro and quickly learned he now had the edge he was seeking.

Former coach Butch Harmon found out about the suit in 2002 forcing Tiger to fire him and pay for his silence. It took the opportunity to build an even better suit and under the guise of "revamping his swing" perfected it into the unstoppable machine it is today.

Noting that he felt a great weight lifted fron his shoulders, Tiger ended the press conference still not knowing what kind of reaction he may receive and what his future now holds. The PGA has yet to issue a statement about what it would do about letting Tiger play in any more events. A PGA insider told C-N-N that the reality is "Who would tell him no anyway"?

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