Wal-Mart to Hold Limbo Contest

Written by Bryan Hackney

Friday, 13 June 2008

Walmart in Limbo Recently, retail giant Wal-Mart announced that they will be holding a limbo contest at random store locations across the US. The winner at each location will be treated to a one minute shopping spree at that location.

“We want to see if our customers can go as low as our everyday low prices,” said Brock Taylor, head of Wal-Mart’s Brain Trust Marketing Promotions. “This is our chance to give something back to our loyal customers. Lately, people seem to have a negative impression of us. We might be big, but we’re still little at heart.”

Wal-Mart has set forth a few rules as pertains to this impending contest:

All participants must wear shoes (flip flops do not qualify as shoes)
Participants must wear shirts long enough to cover their protruding bellies
All Breasts must be securely fastened (Wal-Mart is not liable for any injuries as pertains to this rule)
Participants on motorized scooters are excluded from this event
Beer must be kept in Wal-Mart approved cozies and no imported beer will be allowed

While the big prize is the generous one minute shopping spree, Wal-Mart wants to ensure that no participant leaves empty handed. The losers of the contest will be allowed to pick out a t-shirt featuring their favorite NASCAR star. “Sending contestants away empty handed would be a bad PR move,” said Brock Taylor,” and since our customers love NASCAR we felt that the consolation t-shirt prize would be more than adequate.”

Wal-Mart will be kicking this contest off within the coming weeks. They plan on hanging giant bamboo poles in the parking lot of each location. If you see the pole, make haste inside and register for this once in a lifetime event.

Here’s to another great idea from our favorite monster.

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